Well, it had to eventually happen. Trent's dad is now well aware. There is no one left for Trent to come out to.
If you had a room full of 20 gay men and asked what coming out to one's parents is like, you'd most likely get 20 different experiences. I'm sure in many cases, some parents already know. Mine did not. Unlike Trent, I told both my parents together.
My father was a preacher. Ironically, he accepted it much better than my mother. So many years later, she still feels it is just a "switch" I can flip and be straight. Visits with her can be exasperating. But she has accepted my world to a point. Religion will always prevent her for fully accepting me.
I cannot fathom living 70 or 80 years ago in my grandparents' times. It would require a life of almost certain secrecy. I suppose it was possible that men still found each other. We were certainly there, but how sad that it had to be so clandestine that you were never free to live your true life. Gay men have come so far. We shouldn't forget that.
I'm sure many of the readers of these stories have their own experiences to tell of coming out to their own parents. Who took it better? The mother or father? Did they know? Each of us really has our own story.
Thankfully, as divisive as today's world can be, it has become easier to be your true self. We are visible, we have more rights, it is more accepted. Still, we have a long road yet to travel.
I finally caught up on the second Lake House chapter and then this most recent chapter. Sorry that Trent's dad is being such a dick. Like yours, my father was far more supportive of my coming out than my mother was. She just couldn't be convinced that it wasn't her fault somehow that I was gay. Fortunately, an understanding aunt had some long chats with her and basically told her, "If you force him to choose between family and Charlie (my first partner's name), he may make a choice that you don't want him to make. Do you really want to lose him?" That made her her think, and the next time she saw Charlie, she treated him like a long-lost member of the family!
ReplyDeleteI really love your writing - it flows easily, and the plot isn't too convoluted. Beautifully written.
I've been keeping up on the story. I just couldn't think of any more ways to convey how much I hate Trent and Lance. I guess we can add Trent's father to that list too, although he's kinda had one foot into that list from the beginning. How convenient that Lance offers Trent a room for a couple weeks, and of course Trent jumps at the idea. Mike has a damn good reason to be wary. The fact that Trent is so convinced that he won't fuck up with Lance again means ... he's gonna fuck up. As I've said many times, Mike can do SOOOO much better than being strung along by a cheater. Doesn't matter that he came clean to Mike, the fact is he still did it, and they still flirt back and forth. It's disrespectful and wrong.
ReplyDeleteLove this story. We knew Trent’s dad had to find out eventually. I’m hoping he comes around at least a little. And it’s so exciting he got the job! Keep up the good work!!
ReplyDeleteJust finished this great and sad chapter. So much to think on ... wowser.
ReplyDeleteI'm still at odds with the Mike/Trent relationship it has nothing to do with their ages it has more to do with Trent's maturity. No one here is the bad guy or in the wrong. Trent is just coming into his own and he should be out there slutting around (safely of course), experiencing life. Unfortunately Mike is going to get hurt but it would be funny if was the one who ended up with Lance stranger things in life have happened. Mike should be with someone who is more stable or maybe he is just enjoying having a young piece of ass knowing this may burn itself out.
ReplyDeleteTrent's coming out to his dad might have been a tougher chapter to write, although it was done beautifully. I know this is Trent's story, but Mike has always been a steady one and I do have a soft spot for him.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to the next chapters.
I don't see chapter 25. It jumps from 24 to 26.
ReplyDeleteChapters are always on Nifty, but here it is:
Deletehttps://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-friends/if-it-werent-for-the-two-of-us/if-it-werent-for-the-two-of-us-25.html
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ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story, Tim. I was interested to see that not just you but also a commenter had a much harder time with Mom than with Dad. In most of the stories I've encountered it's the other way around: fathers bound by ideas of socially "correct" roles, mothers more concerned with their kids' well-being and happiness. It's not surprising, though, that for some mothers religion plays such a strong role. Isn't enforcing socially "correct" behavior what it's for?
ReplyDeleteIn the end, as you say, there's no "standard" story.
In Trent's case, I found it interesting that when he came out to Mom he did sort-of-acknowledge that he was putting her in an awkward position while he put off dealing with Dad until . . . well, who knows when? Was there ever going to be a time when he was "ready"? (I don't think it's accidental that he winds up being outed before that happens.) Still, I don't think he ever grasped just how awkward a position he was putting Mom in, making her an involuntary co-conspirator against her husband for however long it might take Trent to come clean.
Ironically, at the same time, Trent deprived himself of whatever help he might have been able to get from the person who knows his father best. Then again, it's doubtful that even Mom would have known how to produce an overall happier outcome. After all, it's not that Trent had no reason to be afraid. There were plenty of signs that he might be facing the Worst Possible Outcome with his father -- not least that Dad didn't already know about him or at least have a good idea. This sounds less like Dad being generally unobservant or "slow on the uptake" and more like old-fashioned deep-rooted denial.
Sure enough, Dad's response to Trent's finally spoken simple truth ("I'm gay") was: No you're not, no you're not, no you're not!
Sadly, because Trent didn't let himself really imagine this Worst Possible Outcome, he seemed totally unprepared for it. Sure, it would have been hard in any case, but I've known guys who, knowing who they were dealing with, got it right, saying things like "It can't be a surprise that you're dead to me" or "When you're ready to apologize, maybe I'll be ready to listen" or just "Fuck you!" Instead, in that moment of truth, all the remarkable progress Trent had made -- in such a short time! -- toward understanding and accepting went out the window, reducing him to that outpouring of self-blame and loathing.
One thing Trent has going for him is his good support system. However, they may have their hands full getting him to see that he has nothing to "fix" or apologize for, except perhaps for not coming clean sooner, that the one with mental and emotional issues to deal with is Dad. (It'll be interesting to see how Mom deals with the mess she's been left with.)
Meanwhile, Trent's journey forward ought to include learning about homophobia's powerful silent weapon, the real killer: internalized homophobia. Of which Lance, alas, has a really bad case. It's just possible to imagine that they might be able to fight theirs together.