The Showcase

It has been almost a month since a new chapter of If It Weren't For the Two of Us has dropped.

This chapter finally completes the buildup to the play Trent has written. When I introduced The Showcase in Extracurricular, it was to create a night where Mike and Trent would enjoy out but would have a reason for Trent's mother to be there. It mixed Trent's family and friends. At the time, I didn't plan for The Showcase to be a key plot point in a second book (that I had no idea I was even going to write).

Read If It Weren't For the Two of Us, Chapter 43 here.

As Book Two developed, I thought the journal was a great opportunity for Trent to act upon his friends' encouragement of his creative talents. Since then, the journal has been divided into half, part of it being his personal life, and part of it being notes for his play.

With only two chapters still left to go in If It Weren't For the Two of Us, this certainly was a plot point that I needed to wrap up. What I like about it is that it helps pull a lot of things from the whole book together: college friends Zach and Tariq, his career coworkers and emotional struggles he has gone through. I felt it a reasonable event to help his father deal with his own evolving thoughts.

It is not a sexually charged chapter. I hope that isn't a disappointment.

When Extracurricular concluded, I knew I still had two more books at that time that would eventually post. And while, yes, I am still in the same position, there is something slightly bittersweet about Book Two coming to an end. It does sadden me. Obviously Trent will still be in Hi, I'm Lance and has appearances in Book Four and Book Five, seeing the approach of the end of his story causes feelings in me I can't put my finger on. They are all fictitious characters, but even so, I have created them, so there is that (odd) fatherly pride in something that doesn't exist. I wonder if writers of television series (or actors) have such thoughts and feelings toward characters.

Even though it causes the chronology to be slightly askew, I will post the final two chapters of Book Two before heading back to Hi, I'm Lance. Readers who are following along as I post will be backtracking a touch when Lance's story resumes, but nothing is going to hinder the enjoyment of it.

Thanks for being on this journey with me (and Trent).

Valentine's Day

In the events of this chapter, Valentine's Day takes place.

Read Hi, I'm Lance, Meeting No. 60 [Chap. 25] here.

I finished writing this story a year ago. Because of the nature of the Nifty platform (i.e. posting books a chapter at a time), authors go back and review what they've written. Something tells me I'm a bit of a rarity. I think most authors on the site post a chapter when they are done with that chapter, but I don't begin posting a story until the book is done. That said, because it is made available in parts along the way, I can go back and develop a scene or add some dialogue that helps clarity.

The previous chapter was so short, I felt another short chapter was not the way to go. Granted, I didn't add that much, but what I did put in was very thoughtprovoking on a personal level. Originally, Lance looking at the cards on the dresser and reflecting back on the previous year was not included.

What a difference a year can make. Lance was in denial on Valentine's Day the year before. I know there are readers out there who are closeted. Everyone has their own path, and the reasons for our choices are not always within our control. But even though he is a fictious character, I hope Lance living life as his true self and finding true love and happiness in doing so serves as a message of hope.

I'm not sure Valentine's Day has the same impact to gay people as straight people. That's probably a brash statement to make, as I'm sure there are those that just adore the holiday in both situations. I've never been one to make it overly elaborate. Perhaps the dinner date between the four characters in this chapter seems ideal to me because it is the simple things that I believe truly express love.

Andrew has made progress. I also don't find it too much of a spoiler to say I am not letting him give up and take the path Tyler did. I'm not doing that to the readers. But his road is not an easy one to travel.

Next up will be the final three chapters of Trent's book. For readers who have followed Book Two and Book Three as they have been posted, the chronology will be slightly askew, but it shouldn't hinder the enjoyment of either book. (For those who discover the books months from now, it makes no difference. Ha.)

Andrew

This is the shortest chapter of any of my books.

Read Hi, I'm Lance, Meeting 55 [Chap. 24] here.

The development of the storyline with Baker/Andrew had its flareup here. I didn't want to try to extend it. I wanted the subject matter to stand on its own.

On a personal level, from time to time, I am struck by a news story that is horribly tragic. I know that even though it is so painful — and it is impossible to bring back anyone who is lost — those that survive, particularly if you are the cause, have to live with it every day. Whether it is a car crash, a regrettable mistake, an unfortunate accident ... I picture myself exactly like Andrew. How do you get past it? It's a heartbreaking situation for individuals in positions like this.

Prayers go up to people living with such pain. I do hope they eventually find ways to laugh and experience joy in their lives.

I am also aware there is no sexual content in this chapter. I fully understand the nature of the Nifty platform, so I hope readers are able to indulge me this courtesy to just drive home the main focus this once.

I love writing the warm aspects of a love story, but for there to be a feel of authenticity — particularly those working through AA — not everything can be sunshine and roses. Chapters like this I believe are essential.

The Couch

 I wasn't sure what to name this post. There was the developing situation with Baker. There was the mother instincts taking over. The flashbacks while on the couch became my topic.

Read Hi, I'm Lance Meeting No. 52 [Chap. 23] here.

It is interesting that Mike and Lance have had their own private encounters, albeit brief. Lance's flashbacks recalled moments from If It Weren't For the Two of Us.

The one in Lance's apartment where he spilled Trent's secret was a harsh point in their friendship. But they were best friends. Lance's bigger mistake was getting drunk that evening.

See If It Weren't For the Two of Us, Chapter 27 here.

The other was following Lance's car crash. While we knew Mike had helped Lance in the shower, we could only guess how that unfolded as the narrative was through Trent's eyes, who had been in the other room with Lance's father. This is now the complete picture.

See If It Weren't For the Two of Us, Chapter 30 here.

Be it Mike or Trent or Evan, the comfort level of nudity among men varies. Assumptions are made that someone who is athletically fit — and certainly endowed like Lance — would probably have no reservations. But how you were raised is also engrained in your personal perspective. Mike and Lance are pretty open, but with the situation in that chapter, even Lance had internal embarrassment.

On a personal level, I recall being fine at a waterpark with just a swimsuit — until students of mine walked by and said hello. Then I wanted to slither under a beach towel. I was by no means naked, but the environment had me exposing much more of myself than they had ever seen. It was awkward.

Nowadays, I am quite sure that I'm at the more reserved end of the spectrum. Personal friends of mine say they attend "naked cocktail parties" (whatever those are). I can't even imagine me being in that scenario. Everyone is different; we're all entitled to be. And that's okay.

Magazines

Lance’s flashback this chapter involves magazines.

Read Hi, I'm Lance, Meeting No. 50 [Chap. 22] here.

I’m old enough to remember a time when information — and images — were not instantaneous. Prior to the internet, young gay men exploring feelings that were materializing didn’t really have a lot of options. Sneaking into an adult store was just too scary.

Convenience stores had magazine racks with some adult content. Triple X material wasn’t available at every corner but finding something like Playboy was easy enough. Nudity was there. Ironically, as my teen years were bringing about desires within me to see other men, it was those magazines that really brought it to fruition. I would have been mortified to step up to the counter with a copy of Playgirl. Way back then, a person would have been instantly judged. But if I had a few minutes in a store when no one was around, sneaking a look inside any magazine that featured naked men captivated me.

At the time, I still wouldn’t have admitted I was gay, but that should have been a big eye-opener, right there.

Young people today have so much media thrown at them and everything is available. Whether that is a good thing or not is up for discussion, but at least they can have a bit more privacy in figuring out what they are feeling.

Being gay is so more accepted nowadays. Magazines are not necessary to figure things out. I hope young people have an easier time.

New Year's Eve

Well.

If you have read either chapter, you know this was kind of a biggie.

Read If It Weren’t For the Two of Us, Chapter 42, here.

Read Hi, I’m Lance Meeting 47 [Chap. 21] here.

Because Book Three diverged from the middle of Book Two, there is some overlap to be expected, as all these characters are in both stories. I can tell you now, there will never be more overlap between the two than New Year’s Eve.

In conversations I have with a fellow author, we sometimes comment on drafting the sexual content. Sometimes, the Nifty platform almost seems to have an unwritten pressure to include something each chapter. (There is not.) If it comes to “steamy,” I think this might be the series’ masterpiece. So, in that regard, I hope you enjoyed it.

It should also have spurred some kind of response from you, I would think. Some of you might have been appalled by the characters. Others might have wanted to jump in with them. As readers (and writers) we are all unique individuals. We feel things differently. More than anything, I want my characters to come off as individuals, with personal struggles to which many of us can relate. How did you feel about what transpired?

Near the end of Lance’s chapter, he reflects on the evening at Jason’s house way back in the spring. If you wish to reference that, you can find it here:

Read Extracurricular, Chapter 11, here.

I was never a fan of that chapter. When I first started writing a couple of years ago, it seemed like the goal was to make the sexual content different each time. That scenario seemed a new approach. I did fit it into the story logically enough, but in no way could I relate to the situation personally. On my end, it was flat. To others, it could have come across as “totally hot.” Each of us has his own tastes.

[Side note: Not to be presumptuous, but I said: “his own tastes.” I have no idea if I have even a single female reader. If so, I’d love to know you are out there.]

It was when I got deep into the first book, that I realized that just writing sexual material wasn’t enough. That content took a back seat to writing meaningful stories between gay men. And my goal to write love stories evolved from there.

Feel free to comment below. 

Christmas Part 2: Trent and Mike

As I type these words, I know there are only four chapters of If It Weren't For the Two of Us left.

Read If It Weren't For the Two of Us, Chapter 41 here.

That said, I feel slightly saddened that Trent's story will soon end. However, those words aren't exactly true. Trent (along with Mike) will still appear in future books. Mike's story, Extracurricular, certainly didn't cause him to disappear into thin air once I concluded it.

This chapter will obviously contain a moment that will help define Trent's future. Nothing is ever certain, but this was significant. I hope it speaks to you.

Once again, time with families are sentimental moments for me as the author.

The remaining chapters span time in larger leaps. Following New Year's Eve, Trent's story becomes defining signposts in his life. Stay tuned.