Controversy: The Final Chapter

Here we are. The final chapter of Brad's story. If you have not read Chapter 18 yet, I wouldn't read this yet. Click here to read the last chapter.

So, I do have thoughts to share. For a few years, Brad seems such a principal character that he deserved his own book. Yet, I didn't know where I would take it. I threw in a line in Book Six, Laramie, about Corey saying, "Brad's in love." I figured if I ever did do a story, that line would be a connection.

As I've said before, I didn't know where to take Brad, so I followed the advice of the old saying, "Write what you know." Growing up a preacher's kid, I thought that might be the place to start. Just like Brad tells his family, Natural Attraction wasn't HIS story, just parts of it, I could say the same thing about Controversy. In this last chapter where Brad is finally "seen" by his mother after watching the play ... I never got that from my mother before she passed.

My original title for the last chapter was "Do Me, Baby." It seemed like I "just needed one more chapter" so many times. I had to keep going back to Prince's portfolio to find a title that would fit. I knew the guys would make love in their new home, so I just gave it that line. But, I hadn't used "Controversy" as a chapter title, so I made the decision to make it full circle. I'm not sure if it was the right call, but I think it works.

Each one of my books has its own unique storytelling quirk — Trent's journal, Lance's AA meetings, Jakob's years, Laramie's mixed narrative, etc. — and more than Brad's chapters being named after Prince songs, I liked using Corey and Aiden as a framing device. Most my readers know that all the stories aren't linear. This one takes place over four years. On page one, Corey and Aiden come home after their freshman year at Notre Dame. In the final pages, we see the boys (now men) a year out of college in Brad and Will's home. I hoped that help readers keep up with the passage of time.

And speaking of our collegians, I have started on the next book — but ONLY started. It will be a while. Book Eleven is Corey and Aiden's return to Notre Dame. It will be called The Sophomore Recordings. If you'd like to be notified of when it drops, send me an email: timothylane414@gmail.com 

Heaven knows the last few chapters have given teases of what will happen in the next three books. I've structured it to where no matter what sequence anyone reads one of my stories, if they ever go back to others, it all fits. (And there are a lot of hints!)

My proofreaders (and you know who you are), bless you! I appreciate you so much. 

While I step away to work on the next story, you can refresh the boys' freshman year: Book Eight Nifty shortened the title to My Unfortunate Soulmate. As I reviewed it in preparation, I found myself totally aggravated at the occasional errors, which makes me love my proofreaders all the more. I still think you'll enjoy reliving those characters again though.

Until then, be well.

Nothing Compares 2 U

The last three chapters of the book (this being the next-to-last one) were originally supposed to wrap up the book in one chapter. When I finally got to it, it was clear that outline wouldn't work. It became three, and truth be told, I could have divided Chapter 17 into two.

Click here to go to Chapter 17.

Emotions are high in both halves: Keith and Will. That's kind of why I felt like I could have separated them. It takes place over a few months, and by chapter's end, it was over half a year since the breakup, but I worried that readers might feel I was rushing it — Brad running from one relationship to the next. Hopefully people understood that there was time to process and accept and just "be."

I really like the scene following Brad and Will making love where the timetable of what was happening with Will makes the full story a little clearer. Will explaining what had transpired while apart helps make the whole situation fit together.

In some ways, this was the hardest chapter in the book to write. Brad separating from Will was sad, but this was truly harsh. What made it very difficult was that I had come to love Keith (as an author). From time to time, a character really grows on me. Lance was the first, and I decided I wanted to give him his own book. Actually, each character touches me in some way, but I loved Keith. Knowing he destroyed everything so casually killed him eventually. He was originally intended to be a love interest for Brad during the time before I reconnected Will with Brad. I didn't expect that I would develop him into a person I truly cared about. I had never planned on doing a Keith story, but his emotional journey and tragic pain is starting to inspire me to do so. We'll see.

I know the gay community is often stereotyped (which I hate), but there are so many different types of lifestyles among us. I have numerous couple friends that have been 100% monogamous for decades. Others ... not so much. It was interesting to me that one reader wrote (to Brad): "It's just sex — focus on the emotional connection and on the commitment to be there for each other." Within two hours, another one came in. He stated he knew the characters weren't real, but he couldn't go to sleep. "Because of my personal experiences, I will not be finishing Controversy." That was a dagger in my heart as I would never want anyone to relive pain from what I had written.

With ten stories written, I know as an author I can't keep doing the same story with the same people over and over. There has to be diversity. I hope I am accomplishing that.

One chapter left — hope you enjoy it.

The Move

Chapter 16 has so much emotion. (Click here for Controversy, Chapter 16.)

When watching movies, I find goodbye scenes so much sadder than death scenes.

Uprooting Brad from Jackson Bend after all these years was tough to do, but that's where the story is going. I hated doing it to Jakob and Lance so many years ago, but — that's life. So often, job opportunities or family dictate people we love have to move. It's hard.

I probably could have stretched this one into two chapters (throw in some more sex here, more dialogue there), but I didn't mind letting the chapter expand from summer to the holidays to a new year. The previous chapter was six months long, so this one being about eight isn't that radical of a departure.

This chapter's emphasis was on a new start for our couple. Saying goodbye to what they knew and beginning fresh. My own husband had to make that move to be with me so long ago. (We are a rare example of a long-distance relationship actually working out.)

Of course, there's yet again another three-way. Full disclosure, I have no more plans of writing another one. That' not to say I have all subsequent books figured out, but ... nothing in my mind moves the plot because of one. This one I needed. The three in Book Ten each had their own plot point, even if the first one with Topher and Nolan was to get Brad out of his funk. Aside from the Prince songs, maybe that can be this book's niche as well. Ha.

And if I haven't disclosed this before, no, I have never been in one.

I've never really had readers voice their opinions on them one way or another ("I like the monogamous couples" vs. "totally fucking hot, man"). When writing ten novels, it helps an author to have some aspect of variety with the expected sexual content.

Aaaaaaand ... then there's the bar scene. Stay tuned.

Brad's Christmas

I was so happy to share Chapter 14. It was long, but it had so much.

The situation with Ramona swung the pendulum to the intense side, and then Christmas swings toward redemption.

The family dynamic is what I found most rewarding. Naomi's soul-searching was interesting for me to write. When outlining the book, I never would have thought of such details (I hadn't even thought up Naomi), but her inclusion into this chapter really made everything a cohesive arc. As kids, we expect our parents to not only be perfect but to know all the answers. After years of animosity toward them, her realization that they were trying the best they could I found to be a great plot point.

Children can always throw curveballs. Even when things are going fine, parents always worry. But when a kid makes a serious mistake, oooo, that's tough on all involved.

Brad's dramatic flareup with his parents I find to be spot on. I never had that argument with my parents, but I have felt it so many times. 

What amuses me is the line where Brad tells his father "That's the first time you ever said that to me" during their walk. Saying "I love you" was going to be in one of the last paragraphs of the book. But the story had so much more to offer. There are still chapters left to make Brad's story complete.

Also, I'm a fan of looking through old family pictures when the opportunity presents itself, so that's a Timothy nod in the story.

With his parents, Keith, Will, his sister and nephew, what's next for Brad?

Keith

Noticeably, a new character has taken hold in Controversy. Keith and Ramona have been around for a few chapters, but now Keith is taking a more significant role.

Click here to read Chapter 12.

When I outline a book, I have a very simple framework. I was going to introduce a new love for Brad. I knew it was coming about halfway through Brad's story. What I didn't know is how taken I would be with Keith.

When writing A Bed, A Desk and My Unfortunate Soulmate (Book Eight), Geoff was the college freshman whose sexual development just exploded on him. His addiction to porn and all things sexual placed him in a bisexual (or pansexual) realm, if his identity needed labeling. But Keith, as an older adult, is a new type of character for me.

It's also a challenge. To my knowledge, I don't know any bisexuals personally. I always strive for authenticity in my books, so sometimes I have to make assumptions. (By authenticity, I mean not every character is an idealized quarterback — blond, of course — with an eight-inch schlong. And naturally, everyone on the team has a huge dick and all like to get off together even though they are straight. Right.) As a writer, I prefer the real world. I want every reader to find someone with whom they can identify. I'm hoping Keith comes across as true. I wish I had some bisexual friends: I'd really enjoy talking with them. I'd find them fascinating.

Keith has a wonderful innocence, coming out later in life. It is this youthful quality that Brad (and ME!) find endearing about Keith. I've really enjoyed developing this character. His impact on Brad's life in the upcoming chapters is massive. I hope you are drawn to him as I have been "creating" him.

Watermelon

I will freely admit, Chapter 10 was very different.

Click to read Chapter 10.

Brad thinking of watermelon to take his mind of Will moving on was humorous in its own way, but how many of us have suffered through it? I remember when my first boyfriend (and we were long distance) told me he slept with someone else. My heart was shattered glass. It only seemed natural. But he was my first, and I was head over heels. I think I was No. 17 for him. (We're still great friends, and he is over a thousand now; yes, that isn't a typo.)

Can anyone else relate to their heart being broken by a former love moving on from you?

And then there's that three-way. It's VERY rare that I write about sex with females. For good reason: I have zilcho experience in that department. But because I like to keep my stories grounded — and heterosexual sex is certainly out there — it's appropriate for it to make its way into a story now and then. Certainly, Corey is going to have to debate it in the next book.

The final line of the chapter (mirroring the Prince song title of the chapter) begs the question: How important is Keith going to be in Brad's life?

And has anyone experienced a situation like that?

Stay tuned. 

Will

Since this book (Controversy) started, Will has mentioned throughout.

Chapter 7 — one of the steamier ones — shows us Brad and Will coming together in a flashback. As an author, it is nice to finally show the love growing between the two, even if it is a past love.

Will Fitzgerald is one of my stronger characters. In so many ways (in my mind, at least), he is very different than Brad, almost an opposite. Perhaps that is why they work so well together. It's also why the separation is so heartbreaking because the love was authentic.

Because I have so many things worked out in my head, I have no idea how readers will — or do — picture Will. Is he Brad's true love? Is he a total jerk for moving and not asking Brad to come along? And how will Brad's former partner affect his life moving forward? Can Brad find new love? Or was Will his once chance at the real deal?

Interestingly, a line from this chapter references Corey's statement: "Brad's in love." I didn't just make it up; it happened in Book Six, Laramie, Chapter 23. You can relive it here: Laramie, Chapter 23. So yeah, years ago when I wrote Laramie, I hadn't conceived of Will's character, but I set up something just in case I wrote a book about Brad one day. I like how it all fits.

Oh yeah, there is something else in this chapter — a three-way. As someone who writes love stories, it isn't really a scenario that I go to often. But here is a bit of insider info ... it won't be Brad's last. And I will leave you with that. And do you have any thoughts on them? Too dangerous? Completely hot? Messes things up?

Much more to come...

Hudson

I've been pleased that I have introduced several types of characters. Obviously, the main ones are gay, but I've included straight ones, as well (Corey, Natalie, Daryl, college schoolmates and numerous family members). Even the gay characters are very diverse. I have a variety of body types, penis sizes, sexual preferences, financial situations, supportive/nonsupportive families, etc.

Hudson is different. I've never had an asexual character before. It's not that I'm trying to show some specific message, I'm just letting people like Hudson be seen. Some people might view asexual-aromantic individuals as being lucky as they never have to endure dating. Others might feel sympathy because these people don't enjoy sex. But I don't think everyone, whatever you are, fits perfectly into a one-size-fits-all mold. All people are different.

I do like seeing the friendship between Brad and Hudson though. If I had to choose one word that describes Brad, it would be "kind." Hudson sees it. I think the readers do too.

Click here for Chapter 5.

First Times

Chapter 2 of Controversy recalls Brad's first time with a young boy. I like those passages more than the "experienced" guys who go after it. There is something pure and innocent and real about two males figuring things out — and trying things out — for the first time.

Click here for Chapter 2.

First times can be awkward and clumsy and full of mistakes, but its the exploring of two bodies that so often sparks pure magic. Whenever a first time happens, the two boys (or men) feel a sense of connection they were longing for. Even if the sex isn't perfect, just like that first kiss, there is a sense of "wow." Sure, some first encounters are traumatic owing to a bullying or controlling participant, but for the most part, two boyfriends acting on what they are feeling inside is so impactful.

In contrast to erotica featuring perfect male specimens with ridiculous anatomy, real men are much more interesting than fantasy figures — at least in my opinion. I try to make a wide range of body types in my stories. Any reader can find themselves there, right in the romantic mix.

The drawback is I only have my own personal experiences and the handful of friends that are open enough to talk about sexual "stuff." The bulk is my imagination. My dream would be to interview gay men about their experiences (good and bad) to really give a sheen of authenticity to my writing. When I wrote about the older men sharing at the meetings in Heart and Soul, I was thrilled that so many of those were from readers who shared with me their own tales of coming out later in life.

Wouldn't it be fascinating to hear how other people's first times went?

Controversy

Controversy is Book Ten.

If that confuses you, then perhaps knowing that the characters in my various novels cross over into others helps that statement make sense. Is it necessary to have read all that before? No. Jump in. Hopefully you will find them enjoyable.

Read Chapter One

If, after diving in, you want to know more of Brad's friends, you can find all my books under my author's tab (Timothy Lane). Or, here are links:

[One] Extracurricular
[Two] If It Weren't For the Two of Us
[Three] Hi, I'm Lance
[Four] Ascension: Jakob's Ladder
[Five] Coffee at 9
[Six] Laramie
[Seven] Say Goodbye to Sparkleland
[Eight] A Bed, A Desk, and My Unfortunate Soulmate
[Nine] Heart and Soul

As usual, I try to give each book its own characteristic flair: Trent's journal, Lance's AA meetings, the Notre Dame dual narrative, etc. Controversy is named after Prince's album, and each chapter will be named after a Prince song. It's just something fun and quirky.

Brad had already been a secondary character in five books up to this point. I felt he deserved his own story, but I didn't know what it should be. I struggled for a bit. Someone once told authors that they should "Write what you know." Well, like Brad, I grew up a preacher's kid. (This novel is NOT my story.) I think there are things to tap into there.

Also, Corey and Aiden will be a framing device. This book begins as they are coming home from their freshman year at college. By the time it all concludes, they will have graduated. So that can help you keep up with the time. Brad references their college friend, Manny, and his weight. If you want to go back to that, it was Soulmate Chapter 8.

For my readers who have been with me the last five years, I apologize. When Book Nine wrapped up, I didn't expect it to be this long before I posted again. Life got in the way, and I didn't have the free time to write as I had hoped. My fingers are crossed that you will enjoy this ride. I've missed being a part of this community.

I love email: timothylane414@gmail.com 

Husbands: The Conclusion of "Heart and Soul"

Well, Book Nine is now complete.

Click here to read the conclusion, Chapter 16 of Heart and Soul.

Certainly, it has ended dramatically differently than previous works. I have never killed off a major character before. Yes, there have been some deaths for protagonists to deal with, but never someone so significant to the plot. I will fully admit I was teary as I wrote it.

For those of you who will say, "I'm going to miss Don," please realize that was a significant time jump in this chapter. Don will still be around in subsequent books.

When Emory first mentioned meeting Don in Coffee at 9, I thought it a good seed to plant if I ever did a story on Emory. Don appeared heavily in Books Six and Seven. Please note that I didn't create him just for the purpose of killing him off. It wasn't until I sat down and outlined how Heart and Soul would go that I felt that would be the true finale of showing their love.

When I began Heart and Soul, I assumed a story of retired gentlemen wouldn't have the heat of "young studs." But I still wanted to show all ages in my stories, and I know men of all ages experience love and are still sexual individuals. (If anyone is wondering, I am younger than our two gentlemen.) For those readers who told me they appreciated a story showing senior men falling in love and enjoying sex, I hope the conclusion still played true. Honest, authentic emotions are always my primary goal.

So, what's next?

Book Ten will be called Controversy. Brad, our favorite barista at Joe, will be the headliner. In our timeline — while Brad will certainly look back on his life's backstory — it will take place as the first story to follow Corey and Aiden's freshmen year in college. It begins with them returning home. Eventually, that sets the stage for our lads heading off to Notre Dame for their sophomore year (the following book).

Brad always seems sassy and confident, but we will find out that the gentleman has a lot to unpack. In addition to established characters, there are new friends to meet along the way.

If you don't want to overlook it's debut in a couple of months (yes, unfortunately, it is not finished), send me an email to be notified. timothylane414@gmail.com And feel free to email at any time. I enjoy hearing from readers.

Before I wrap up things With Heart and Soul, I once again thank the friends who did some proofreading for me. Their assistance was invaluable. I also thank the readers who shared their own lives. Writing their experiences into the sharing sessions really meant something to me.

Five years ago as the pandemic started, I never would have dreamed I would ever write nine novels. Just putting an open-ended conclusion to Extracurricular was enough. But our gentlemen of Jackson Bend have a way of burrowing into my brain. Bless 'em.

Stay tuned.

 

Weddings

I would have to assume if you are reading this, you have read the latest chapter of Heart and Soul.  Click here to read Chapter 15.

I'm not sure if readers saw the title of the chapter, and thought, "Oh, Emory and Don are getting married. Ah. No. It is Cooper and Laramie's wedding. Oh wait, it is Emory and Don." If it all bopped around in a bit of surprise, well, dandy.

Of interest to me is that it is the third time I have written Cooper's wedding, but it has always been from various perspectives other than the grooms themselves.
Corey: A Bed, A Desk and My Unfortunate Soulmate, Chapter 4
Mitchell: Say Goodbye to Sparkleland, Chapter 29

Perhaps, one of these days I will write it again once more so that we can see it from Cooper's or Laramie's perspective. It would have fit in either of their books, but I found the endings to Books Five and Six to be where their arc reached a satisfying conclusion.

Overall, I tried to bring a natural progression to Emory's decision. None of my stories are ever about me. But a few of my experiences do make it into the text now and then. I was at a convention many, many years ago. A longtime friend in our industry asked if my partner and I were going to get married. We noted it wasn't really in our plans. He pushed for it for legal reasons, owing to a hospitalization that had occurred. Granted, this man was straight, but he wanted to make sure we wouldn't ever have to deal with a "family decision" situation. He urged us to make it legal. So, the seed was planted.

Hopefully, our lovable grump deciding to propose to Don seemed authentic. I didn't want to go off the rails in some showy spectacle. If you enjoyed it, then that pleases me.

One chapter left...

Sharing

I really like this chapter.

Click here to read Chapter 13, Heart and Soul.

The reason for that is two-fold. The entire scene at the radio station was fun to write. Trent was my very first character way back in Extracurricular. Well, along with Mike, at least. It's always a treat to bring back past protagonists from my books. I enjoyed crafting Trent's coming out in that first book, although "his" book was really If It Weren't For the Two of Us. In the timeline of all these stories, we see Trent five years after his graduation and how he has grown as a person.

The bigger reason I like this chapter is because several readers contributed to it. While they shared their stories to me personally, I have included some interpretations in an anonymous way. I won't bother clarifying which shares at the Heart and Soul meeting were ones I created as the author and ones that were derived from readers. I just love the authenticity of the chapter.

I do take this moment to thank the readers who have shared with me. Your honesty and trust is taken to heart.

Each of us has a story in our own way. As different as our circumstances are from other people, we still should be aware that we have so much in common.

I appreciate the support of Emory's and Don's story, as well as your time invested in my work. Hugs to all.

New Arc

As Emory's book begins its downward slope to the conclusion, Chapter 12 introduces a new arc.

Click here to read Chapter 12.

Within this chapter, the book's title comes to light.

After writing several books that featured Emory in it, I knew his story should be told. I had done divorced, college, alcoholic, etc., but I hadn't done a full story of people of retirement age. Just as I knew when I wrote Say Goodbye to Sparkleland, many of my readers would shy away from a story of someone who had cheated on their true love. But those that stuck with it, I feel, learned to embrace Mitchell in all his mistakes. Likewise, I'm sure some of my readers were disinterested in a story of "older" guys. Hopefully they realize that men are still sexually active as they age. Every age can be "hot" and loving and tender.

Now we have Emory's idea. Heart and Soul has given him purpose. I am not aware of such groups. I might hear from someone who says, "Timothy, don't you know of this and this and this?" If so, I'll just say (with a smile) none of those groups have existed in Jackson Bend. His idea is small, but as Lorenzo has conveyed, it was something important and meaningful. And for that reason, I'm glad Emory has a new direction.

I have known people who felt lost once they retired. They just sat around the house feeling like there was nothing to do. Even some wives have nudged them to do something with themselves. Having a wide open canvas sounds amazing to me. I'll be happy when the day comes that I have no deadlines. I long for the day when someone asks me when I let go of everything: "What will you do?" Like Emory and Don, whatever I want, whenever I want. Retirement scares some people. I find an absolute freedom to it. One day.

When I first created Emory in Coffee at 9, I just wanted an older gay guy to befriend Cooper. I had no real backstory for him. Even when I teased Don in the final chapter of that book, I had no grand vision for Emory's book — or even if I would do one. But once I envisioned Heart and Soul as a fellowship group, the big picture came into focus for me. I just had to figure out how it would overlay Books Six, Seven and Eight.

Would you attend such a group?

The Stroke

So. 

Read Chapter 10 of Heart and Soul here.

Those with good memories or who simply looked at my timeline in the previous post knew this chapter was coming. We saw Emory's stroke in Chapter 21 of Laramie. At the time, I didn't necessarily know I was going to do a book with Emory, but since I did, not only did I have to include this, I think it is very important to the plot.

While there is erotica in my work, I write LOVE stories not just sex scenes. I'm sure many people will see the title of the chapter and think, "Well, that's not sexy." Nope. It's not. But the companionship between the two men should be. I felt this chapter really showed the depth of both characters and their relationship.

And look who's back? Lorenzo Barker. Readers might recall his introduction in Chapter 22 in Say Goodbye to Sparkleland. When I wrote that book, I knew I was going to make use of him.

For anyone who didn't think they would care for this chapter and wound up liking it, I hope you tell me. After writing so many lovemaking scenes, crafting these passages was different.

Showing affection, love and sex at ALL ages is pleasing to me. The young studs (well-hung, 6'5'', quarterbacks — yeah, they get their share of stories) make for easy j/o material, but I hope these senior men show authenticity.

Tell me.

Fitting Together

If all my stories were told in a linear fashion, then it would be so much easier. But many readers will remember the tornado from three books ago. I realize that makes it confusing to go back and forth.

Same event, different houses:
Heart and Soul, Chapter 9
Laramie, Chapter 20

Why would I do this? Well, as secondary characters get their own stories, then you have to make sure things align. To tell the complete story, it is necessary to go back. 

Some of you probably flat out don't care. You read the story because you might like a certain character. Or you just want the hot scenes, but it isn't important enough to commit to memory or keep the timeline straight.

But do you wonder if I do? After several books, I had to create a spreadsheet. That doesn't work well for this blog, but this is a synopsis if it interests anyone. If you've read the previous material, then there are no spoilers here.

Notes are by book and chapter:
5: Coffee at 9
6: Laramie
7: Say Goodbye to Sparkleland
8: A Bed, A Desk and My Unfortunate Soulmate

2022
Feb - Emory spills coffee on Cooper 5,1
March - Coffee at 9 meetings begin 5,2
July - Cooper meets Laramie 5,6
Oct - Corey goes to coffee for first time 5,9
Nov - Laramie and Cooper kiss 5,10
Dec - Cooper's love triangle 5,11; Emory and Don meet 9,1

2023
Jan - Cooper chooses Laramie - 5,12
Feb - Emory and Don have sex - 9,3
May - Don meets Don 9,5, Tampa 6,17
July - Natalie's wedding 6,18
Sept - "Signposts"; Isaiah dies 9,7
Oct - Corey and Laramie fight, Carter's first appearance 6,19
Nov - Mitch finishes therapy 7,23
Dec - Mitch and Layton date 7,24

2024
Jan - Mitch returns to coffee group 7,25
Feb - Mitch and Carter 7,26
March - "L.B." 7,28
April - Tornado 6,20; 9,9
May - Jakob's magazine 4,12
June - Mitch moves in 7,29
July - Vegas 6,21
Sept - Corey's license, Emory's stroke 6,21

2025
Jan - Mitch and L.B.'s new house 7,29
Feb - Aiden spends emotional night with Corey 6,22
Aug - Laramie's mother dies 6,22

2027
March - Corey and Laramie argue 6,24
May - Art exhibit 6,24
June - Corey's graduation 6,24
Aug - Notre Dame begins 8,1
Nov - Cooper and Laramie marry 8,4; Mitch's tattoo 7,29

Obviously there are more details than just this, and there are holes to fill in (eventually).

This is more of an informative blog post than an interesting one, but the tornado in Chapter 9 made me think that some readers would remember it and wonder how things fit together. One of my favorite television shows of all time was This Is Us. It was told much like my Jackson Bend series. I often wondered if they had a huge timeline over many years and slowly filled in the spaces.

Brothers

I am often asked if any of the characters I write are based on me. My standard answer is "no." But at the same time, I tell people there is a little bit of me in each of the characters. I like to believe that my gents are emotionally driven more than their physical traits. That's what I write about, what's inside. I like to take circumstances I see in real life among my friends and family or things I read about and ask, "What are they feeling?"

Well, in this chapter, there is very definitely something me. 

I am somewhat distanced from my older brother. Many years ago, he had some choice hateful words for me, along with "the bible says gay people are going to hell" thing. When I was writing this chapter with Isaiah, I let things that were kind of buried within me rise to the surface. My older brother has not passed away, but we talk very infrequently. Birthday texts and Christmas cards are about it. 

I fear that one day when we lose our parents that we may never see each other again. And the fact that I accept that outcome should be horribly troubling. But I do. We may just not include each other in our lives.

I'm not Emory, but I do share that with that him, even though my circumstances are slightly different.

What's even more sad is that I know from talking with others that this situation is rather common. There isn't always a love between siblings. Sometimes being a blood relative isn't enough.

If anyone out there shares those feelings, you aren't alone. And I care.

Chapter 7, "Family Matters," can be found HERE.

Why?

This recent chapter remembering Cooper's and Emory's "lesson" is not a comfortable one with me.

Why?

I still find it just slightly out-of-character for Cooper. 

Click here to read Heart and Soul, Chapter 6.

My first four books — Extracurricular; If It Weren't For the Two of Us; Hi, I'm Lance; Ascension: Jakob's Ladder — formed sort of a set with those four characters. When I started Coffee at 9, we still saw those characters, but I took Cooper out of Hi, I'm Lance and started an entirely new arc with new characters. When I wrote the chapter with Emory encouraging Cooper to be loud while making love, I wasn't wild about it.

Why?

Again, it wasn't something I felt Cooper would do. But it challenged me as an author. First, with the eroticism of the platform, there is some sort of "implied" sexual content for readers when you make a post. There is no real requirement, but it's the nature of what these stories are all about. Cooper wasn't having that much sex; he was trying to patch things up with Mitch, but there wasn't a LOT of sex happening. The friendship between Cooper and Emory had taken off. I didn't want to just have them hop into bed ... because. There needed to be a reason for Cooper to do that. Emory's "lesson" was a way for there to logically be an opportunity that also furthered the plot.

Click here to read Coffee at 9, Chapter 7.

But since I decided to write it in, I needed to make it have consequences. Cooper, even though it accomplished what it was supposed to, regretted it. That was a continuous emotion he wrestled with. So much so that he hated keeping secrets from his partner. He really felt he had to confess to Laramie.

Click here to read Laramie, Chapter 23.

And now, with this chapter, we see the flip side. Chapter 6 won't be a favorite chapter of mine.

Why?

Because it is simply reflection of context we have seen before in previous stories. I kept it brief, so there isn't necessarily anything "new." However, I felt it important in showing the truth behind Emory's and Don's relationship that it would be something that troubled Emory unless he got it out in the open.

Hopefully, showing the open honesty between the two men still made for worthwhile reading.

Funerals

For such a daunting subject, this chapter on funerals was one of my favorites.

Often, I can't wait to jump into a book, having written passages in my head months out. Other times, stories are more challenging. For instance, Mitchell was a cheater, so I knew many readers would resist a story about him, but he won them over. Likewise, the story with Emory, with him being retirement aged, was different than the majority of my work. People liked him as a secondary character, but could he carry a whole book?

What I like about Heart and Soul is that people knew from the flash forwards in Laramie, Say Goodbye to Sparkleland and My Unfortunate Soulmate that Emory and Don were together. I didn't need an entire book to let them fall in love. However, we just knew Don as a "nice man." We didn't have a true picture of Don.

As I got into the backstories of Emory and Don in previous chapters, the two seemed to be fleshed out some more with their own characteristics and traits. But it was this chapter with the funeral and in-depth look at men who helped shape Don that Heart and Soul really felt like it had heft. I felt strongly that the book had the direction it needed. It wasn't just "Emory needed his own story."

Not to mention, I know men in their 60s and 70s begin to see their longtime friends pass. It is sad, but it is reality — and the indirect blessing is it isn't THEIR funeral.

But I love the encounters in this chapter, both with the former coworker Roy and Tate's son. Certain chapters really touch me, and this one did. When I sat back after it was finished, I appreciated taking the route I did. It's a favorite.

Click here to read Heart and Soul, Chapter 5.

There have to be many "senior" gay men who never really found their true love, no matter how lovable and kind they are. Life isn't always fair when it comes to romance.

Don

Don has made cameo appearances in Books Six through Eight (Laramie, Say Goodbye to Sparkleland and A Bed, A Desk and My Unfortunate Soulmate). In those instances, he was simply Emory's boyfriend/partner.

I really enjoyed writing this chapter. It gave a deeper look into who Don is. In my mind, I picture him as a truly kind gentleman, but portraying him as a person who has cracks beneath the surface and a lifetime of heartache made him much more interesting as a character. The passage with Tate was very rewarding for me as an author.

I have to believe there are straight friends out there that "experiment" with each other. I've never directly asked my straight friends if (first) they ever experienced such moments and if so, how it affected them. Do they regret doing it? Does it bother them to think about it? Was it a bonding moment? I honestly have no idea. Don and Tate definitely had one.

Heart and Soul is Emory's book, clearly, but we also see two main characters portrayed here. I've appreciated the comments from people who say I am portraying "their age" appropriately. I always want my writing to have an authenticity to it.

In the chapters ahead, I will peel more layers away from this character.

By the way, I named Don after an older reader. He has since past. He was married for his whole adult life, but he still allowed himself to be in touch with his true self, even if it was by reading my stories and those of others. I found him very kind through his emails. I miss hearing from him.

Each of my books has its own niche. Trent had his journal and Lance had his meetings. Jakob's book was told by years; Cooper's was written in months. Laramie's story had the atypical approach of two perspectives at a time, even though the other one other than Laramie changed throughout the book. Mitchell, of course, had his sessions with Logan. Corey and Aiden alternated narrating the chapters for their freshman year. Emory's book is all in relation to when he met Don.

So often, a book takes a long time for the protagonist to fall in love. That wasn't what I was after here. We knew from his previous appearances that Don was Emory's partner. Dealing with love at a mature age was the main goal of this story.

I hope you like Don.

Click here to read Heart and Soul, Chapter 3.