The last three chapters of the book (this being the next-to-last one) were originally supposed to wrap up the book in one chapter. When I finally got to it, it was clear that outline wouldn't work. It became three, and truth be told, I could have divided Chapter 17 into two.
Click here to go to Chapter 17.
Emotions are high in both halves: Keith and Will. That's kind of why I felt like I could have separated them. It takes place over a few months, and by chapter's end, it was over half a year since the breakup, but I worried that readers might feel I was rushing it — Brad running from one relationship to the next. Hopefully people understood that there was time to process and accept and just "be."
I really like the scene following Brad and Will making love where the timetable of what was happening with Will makes the full story a little clearer. Will explaining what had transpired while apart helps make the whole situation fit together.
In some ways, this was the hardest chapter in the book to write. Brad separating from Will was sad, but this was truly harsh. What made it very difficult was that I had come to love Keith (as an author). From time to time, a character really grows on me. Lance was the first, and I decided I wanted to give him his own book. Actually, each character touches me in some way, but I loved Keith. Knowing he destroyed everything so casually killed him eventually. He was originally intended to be a love interest for Brad during the time before I reconnected Will with Brad. I didn't expect that I would develop him into a person I truly cared about. I had never planned on doing a Keith story, but his emotional journey and tragic pain is starting to inspire me to do so. We'll see.
I know the gay community is often stereotyped (which I hate), but there are so many different types of lifestyles among us. I have numerous couple friends that have been 100% monogamous for decades. Others ... not so much. It was interesting to me that one reader wrote (to Brad): "It's just sex — focus on the emotional connection and on the commitment to be there for each other." Within two hours, another one came in. He stated he knew the characters weren't real, but he couldn't go to sleep. "Because of my personal experiences, I will not be finishing Controversy." That was a dagger in my heart as I would never want anyone to relive pain from what I had written.
With ten stories written, I know as an author I can't keep doing the same story with the same people over and over. There has to be diversity. I hope I am accomplishing that.
One chapter left — hope you enjoy it.
Fabulous! My heart goes out to Keith but when you play you pay. He should have known Brad was a monogamous person. I am glad Brad and Will are back together. I am sad to see this story drawing to a close but also understand.
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I thought that Keith deserved more compassion and understanding, not just for the readers' sake, but for Brad's sake as an emotionally healthy and mature human being in the storyline. I could see the train wreck coming. As a newly out queer man, Keith would probably have some messy sexual experiences to figure out his curiosity and attractions. I think it was sad that Brad couldn't have been more empathetic and forgiving, given his own experience with rigid judgement and rejection in his past. The story would have been richer if there was a path of repair and reconciliation in the story, even if the two men didn't end up continuing as a couple together. But I think the ideal ending would have been Will helping Brad and Keith find forgiveness for each other and in the process Brad and Keith discover genuine loving attraction and desire for Will as a third partner in their relationship. The hot three-way described earlier in the story was the perfect bridge for them to find such a loving conclusion.
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Why would it be Brad's responsibility to forgive Keith that quickly, when he made it clear the whole time that he was not comfortable with an open relationship? Are we also forgetting that the aspect of the cheating that was honestly more of a breaking point for Brad was the way that Keith hid it from him, especially after what happened with Ramona? It wasn't a case of Brad not being empathetic enough, it was an issue of Keith being a liar and showing a pattern of behaviour. Just because Brad had a hard life doesn't mean he has to lower his own standards just to make someone else feel comfortable. If anything, Brad reinforcing his boundaries and choosing not to let Keith walk all over his own needs and emotions was the real sign of maturity and emotional health. What you are trying to advocate for would have been major toxicity and the recipe for a definite failed relationship where Keith demonstrates a pattern of playing around, hiding his actions until they cannot be hidden any longer, and then Brad having to force himself to let Keith back in despite massive emotional trauma being reinforced. And if Will had been thrown into the mix, eventually there would have been tension and conflict at minimum between Will and Keith once Will stops trying to mediate between Brad and Keith for his own sanity, and starts trying to elbow Keith out for Brad's own safety. The story you're trying to argue for would have been a disaster.
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