I am often asked if any of the characters I write are based on me. My standard answer is "no." But at the same time, I tell people there is a little bit of me in each of the characters. I like to believe that my gents are emotionally driven more than their physical traits. That's what I write about, what's inside. I like to take circumstances I see in real life among my friends and family or things I read about and ask, "What are they feeling?"
Well, in this chapter, there is very definitely something me.
I am somewhat distanced from my older brother. Many years ago, he had some choice hateful words for me, along with "the bible says gay people are going to hell" thing. When I was writing this chapter with Isaiah, I let things that were kind of buried within me rise to the surface. My older brother has not passed away, but we talk very infrequently. Birthday texts and Christmas cards are about it.
I fear that one day when we lose our parents that we may never see each other again. And the fact that I accept that outcome should be horribly troubling. But I do. We may just not include each other in our lives.
I'm not Emory, but I do share that with that him, even though my circumstances are slightly different.
What's even more sad is that I know from talking with others that this situation is rather common. There isn't always a love between siblings. Sometimes being a blood relative isn't enough.
If anyone out there shares those feelings, you aren't alone. And I care.
Chapter 7, "Family Matters," can be found HERE.
Timothy,
ReplyDeleteFor me, it is my sister. Same thing. Once I was honest with her, it was like she built a wall. Thankfully, family is what you make, and I have great friends who provide support whenever I need it.
B.J.M.
As an oldie and with some experience with my own Pedro, I feel I can easily relate to your story (although, regardless of the distance in age, background, etc., I thoroughly enjoyed your previous stories very much, and spontaneously, as well). Perhaps precisely because of the vagaries of libido in old age, sex has if anything become more important to me during these past few years. And although the act now lacks a lot, it still feels in a way rejuvenating. You do a great job in drawing a variety of--not only gay--characters; it ever anew makes for great reading.
ReplyDeleteG.
G totally agree I am finding accepting that it is not going to be the same now is slowly happening. I don't like to disappoint another person, but I find in the gay world there are far more bottoms. Plus it does affect guys under 50 years of age. Good point you make. I think the only issue is not being able to top, the rest can really still do, but requires the partner to understand, that's the difficult part.
DeleteChapter 7, wow. That had lots of situations and emotions that I can relate to. I just turned 69 last Thursday. Emory and Isaiah feels a lot like my own situation with my brother.
ReplyDeleteI want to thank you for the laughter and the tears in these chapters.
Excellent writing as always.
M.
Tears are running down my cheek. I had one sibling, an older sister, who died two years ago this coming February. We were close. I miss her so much. There are times when I still think "I have to call her." She died of cancer while suffering from dementia. I went an hour early to the wake, pulled up a chair to the casket and we "talked".
ReplyDeleteThis was very moving and dammit, hard to read.
-km
This chapter hit home.
ReplyDeleteG.