Hate me. Go ahead. I deserve it.
I think we've all seen movies where something so horrific or tragic happens, that it rips our heart apart or makes us curl up into a ball. Those dark moments help define the person as a whole.
When readers were getting to know Jakob (with a K) — and even me as the author — in Hi, I'm Lance, he hinted at a horrible day where he and his sister had run into each other five years after leaving home.
Click here to read Hi, I'm Lance, Meeting No. 7 [Chap. 4]
When I wrote that, I didn't have intentions of doing a book on Jakob. I just knew he was going to be someone that helped Lance grow as a man. When Hi, I'm Lance ended, Jakob had grown on me so much as a character that I felt I wanted to tell his story. However, I knew — just from the plot details in Book Three — that the first half was going to be tough if I was going to do an accurate portrayal of his life. There are moments of joy and compassion, but there are several years that just aren't pleasant. That's what the character had to endure.
Writing the worst day of his life was the hardest thing I've ever had to write. I'll admit I can cause my eyes to tear up when drafting something so heartwarming and loving. This is the opposite. These people aren't real, but just as we feel for favorite characters in television shows or movies, we still feel emotions for these literary figures too.
I apologize if you found this chapter too harsh. I felt in needed to be. We saw the beginnings of Jakob emerging from "survival" to actual living in Hi, I'm Lance. Here, when this book is complete, we will see him grow many years beyond Lance's story. We're now at the halfway point, so we know Lance is almost in his life. Until that moment, forgive me for fleshing out the hard years. I knew Book Four would be different than the original trilogy. Skipping by years and the darker tone made this book stand on its own, rougher as it is.
Thank you for your support of my writing — and Jakob. I believe you will find the rewards in the second half to be worth the investment into this character.
Yeah. That was hard. I love Jakob. I know you do too. I can imagine writing this took its toll on you, even as the author. I'm so glad Lance will enter his life soon. You've really showed us the flipside. Jakob turned Lance's life around in his story, but - man - Lance really does turn Jakob's life around. I can't wait for them to meet.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to drop you a note to say that I am enjoying your latest work. You warned that it would be “dark” before even the first chapter dropped. I get it. It’s sad, but it gets better. But authors who write sad stuff do it to rip at our hearts, because it makes the story better. Take it easy on yourself! We appreciate you.
ReplyDeleteWhat I don’t get, it why Jakob with a “k” is spending so many hours talking to a psychiatrist. He has been portrayed, for the most part, as this level-headed, resilient, grounded young man who has come through some tragic and trying times—-and survived, when many others would not. In most stories, the set-up establishes the reason why the story is taking place, but you chose to keep that a secret. So I have been trying to play it out in my head.
Jakob and Lance seem to know each other very well, and know how to talk to communicate. So I am surprised that Jakob is going elsewhere for help, because Lance is a good listener and would surely help if he could. I simply cannot accept the idea that Lance and Jakob split up. Why would they? Then I reasoned that the only thing that would affect Jakob this way, would be if something terrible happened to Lance. Surely you wouldn’t do such a monstrous thing! That guy deserves a sequel if anybody does. You even hinted that they are still together, so thanks for that much, anyway. I wondered if tragedy struck a member of Jakob’s family. It’s possible, but Jakob seems to know how to cope. He has said so himself. So my latest theory is that they are a few years into their marriage, and Lance really wants kids, but Jakob is feeling inadequate about being a father. And Lance has suggested he talk to a therapist to sort out his doubts.
That’s what I’m going with, and in five more weeks I’ll have the real answer. I just hope this story doesn’t end with Jakob still sitting on a doctor’s couch. Enjoy your summer, and keep writing!
B.
About the 'tough' chapter... if you're going to write about life, that sometimes is necessary. One thing that comes to mind about the situation having seen the details in this series is that the kind of trauma Jakob went through often isn't overcome by sobriety, or even the love of a good man. While these changes make an enormous difference, Jakob is likely going to have aftershocks for some time. It will be a strain on his relationship with Lance, especially considering that Lance has some dark times in his past as well. "And they lived happily ever after" is just not the way it works, no?
ReplyDelete- R.
You were right, that was a difficult chapter, I am so glad that I know that Lance is on Jakob’s horizon, was so difficult to see him in that much pain. I hope you did not have to live through something like that yourself? If you did , my heart goes out to you, hope you found someone to make you feel good about yourself.
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