Okay. Indulge me. I wanted to call this post "The Fuck," but deep down I knew that was too crass. "Lance Does It" or "It Finally Happens" or whatever just wasn't selling it to me. Those sounded too "pep talk" or After School Special to me. Sooo... here we are. Hopefully no one who reads my material will be too offended with this blog post.
This chapter means a lot to me.
Read Meeting No. 15 [Chap. 12] here.
Yes, Jakob and Lance take a huge step. But aside from that, I like the moments of tenderness and humor and love in this passage. I found writing this piece rewarding. It was a slow buildup to what Lance sees as a big event, but if anything solidifies this relationship, the events of this chapter do so.
The question is ... can the AA warnings rear their ugly heads in this relationship. The two seem to be good for each other, but they haven't faced many obstacles as a couple. My favorite part to these two is that they shouldn't belong together, but the commonality between the two of them overshadows the major differences in their background.
And while we are being blunt here ... and again, indulge me ... erotic fiction, porn and the general gay mindset is that everyone loves fucking. I'm confident there are several among us out there that feel it just isn't "their thing." It's not necessarily magical. Not at first, for sure. Some gay couples take to it, others enjoy intimacy in various other ways. No one really talks about this — certainly not in porn circles or fictional writing. In those realms, fucking is the be all end all that takes place just before the cum shot. Part of me regrets bringing this into their relationship, but as characters, I feel this is where they are. And for Jakob, this was important for him to feel it in a loving way.
As my blog heading goes, I'm writing love stories for gay men. I have no desire to make everything all rainbows and unicorns. I want developed characters. I want plots that are engaging. If sex is the only subject of the book (as much fun as it can be to read and/or write), the text doesn't ring true, in my opinion.
I'm sure there are thoughts of all kinds on this chapter. Comment if you like to share.
When I was a child, my oldest brother (now deceased) tried to fuck me, but my mother heard my protests and saved me from him. Then my first partner wanted to fuck me. There wasn't much in the way of preparation, because I didn't know any better. When he was finished and pulled out, there was a lot of blood. I think he scarred me, which limits my ability to stretch me hole these many years later. Even rimming does nothing for me.
ReplyDeleteThat said (or written), I enjoyed this chapter very much. Another step forward in the relationship between Jakob and Lance. I only hope nothing happens that might jeopardize their relationship.
I am sorry that those early experiences were so harsh. That was probably hard to share. Thank you for being so open.
DeleteI'm so incredibly happy that Jakob was finally able to have sex with Lance without thinking of the abuse. This is a HUGE step for him...for them both. When Jakob shared at the meeting, I was misty eyed too. I hope eventually he thinks more of himself. It pains me when he puts himself down.
ReplyDeleteAs usual, I love Lance's story and I was so happy to see him and Jakob have a most rewarding union! You developed and described it in a most beautiful story. Looking forward to future experiences of these two as well as Trent and Mike!
ReplyDeleteOh wow!! I loved it!! I loved the latest chapter of Trent and Mike’s story, too. I just haven’t gotten to tell you. I was hoping Trent’s dad was getting better, but I guess he is not going to change.
ReplyDeleteI’m so glad Lance was able to fully penetrate Jakob. Since Evan heard them, hopefully they will be able to do it more even when he is home. I noticed Jakob said he had had lots of big things up his ass before, so I guess that is part of his back story.
I always want stories to be happily ever after, but I know that isn’t realistic. I also know from people in my family that most alcoholics don’t make it without any drinking. But I’m hoping Lance and Jakob can together. I love them as a couple.
Keep up the great writing!
Although we regularly still have sex, my husband and I fuck about twice a year. With so many enjoyable options, that's not always the go-to. It's fun to read though in your stories.
ReplyDeleteYour writing is so touching. As a person who discovered his sexual orientation in his 30s, your story is still qutie relevant to me, and touched me deeply.
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