Brothers

I am often asked if any of the characters I write are based on me. My standard answer is "no." But at the same time, I tell people there is a little bit of me in each of the characters. I like to believe that my gents are emotionally driven more than their physical traits. That's what I write about, what's inside. I like to take circumstances I see in real life among my friends and family or things I read about and ask, "What are they feeling?"

Well, in this chapter, there is very definitely something me. 

I am somewhat distanced from my older brother. Many years ago, he had some choice hateful words for me, along with "the bible says gay people are going to hell" thing. When I was writing this chapter with Isaiah, I let things that were kind of buried within me rise to the surface. My older brother has not passed away, but we talk very infrequently. Birthday texts and Christmas cards are about it. 

I fear that one day when we lose our parents that we may never see each other again. And the fact that I accept that outcome should be horribly troubling. But I do. We may just not include each other in our lives.

I'm not Emory, but I do share that with that him, even though my circumstances are slightly different.

What's even more sad is that I know from talking with others that this situation is rather common. There isn't always a love between siblings. Sometimes being a blood relative isn't enough.

If anyone out there shares those feelings, you aren't alone. And I care.

Chapter 7, "Family Matters," can be found HERE.

Why?

This recent chapter remembering Cooper's and Emory's "lesson" is not a comfortable one with me.

Why?

I still find it just slightly out-of-character for Cooper. 

Click here to read Heart and Soul, Chapter 6.

My first four books — Extracurricular; If It Weren't For the Two of Us; Hi, I'm Lance; Ascension: Jakob's Ladder — formed sort of a set with those four characters. When I started Coffee at 9, we still saw those characters, but I took Cooper out of Hi, I'm Lance and started an entirely new arc with new characters. When I wrote the chapter with Emory encouraging Cooper to be loud while making love, I wasn't wild about it.

Why?

Again, it wasn't something I felt Cooper would do. But it challenged me as an author. First, with the eroticism of the platform, there is some sort of "implied" sexual content for readers when you make a post. There is no real requirement, but it's the nature of what these stories are all about. Cooper wasn't having that much sex; he was trying to patch things up with Mitch, but there wasn't a LOT of sex happening. The friendship between Cooper and Emory had taken off. I didn't want to just have them hop into bed ... because. There needed to be a reason for Cooper to do that. Emory's "lesson" was a way for there to logically be an opportunity that also furthered the plot.

Click here to read Coffee at 9, Chapter 7.

But since I decided to write it in, I needed to make it have consequences. Cooper, even though it accomplished what it was supposed to, regretted it. That was a continuous emotion he wrestled with. So much so that he hated keeping secrets from his partner. He really felt he had to confess to Laramie.

Click here to read Laramie, Chapter 23.

And now, with this chapter, we see the flip side. Chapter 6 won't be a favorite chapter of mine.

Why?

Because it is simply reflection of context we have seen before in previous stories. I kept it brief, so there isn't necessarily anything "new." However, I felt it important in showing the truth behind Emory's and Don's relationship that it would be something that troubled Emory unless he got it out in the open.

Hopefully, showing the open honesty between the two men still made for worthwhile reading.

Funerals

For such a daunting subject, this chapter on funerals was one of my favorites.

Often, I can't wait to jump into a book, having written passages in my head months out. Other times, stories are more challenging. For instance, Mitchell was a cheater, so I knew many readers would resist a story about him, but he won them over. Likewise, the story with Emory, with him being retirement aged, was different than the majority of my work. People liked him as a secondary character, but could he carry a whole book?

What I like about Heart and Soul is that people knew from the flash forwards in Laramie, Say Goodbye to Sparkleland and My Unfortunate Soulmate that Emory and Don were together. I didn't need an entire book to let them fall in love. However, we just knew Don as a "nice man." We didn't have a true picture of Don.

As I got into the backstories of Emory and Don in previous chapters, the two seemed to be fleshed out some more with their own characteristics and traits. But it was this chapter with the funeral and in-depth look at men who helped shape Don that Heart and Soul really felt like it had heft. I felt strongly that the book had the direction it needed. It wasn't just "Emory needed his own story."

Not to mention, I know men in their 60s and 70s begin to see their longtime friends pass. It is sad, but it is reality — and the indirect blessing is it isn't THEIR funeral.

But I love the encounters in this chapter, both with the former coworker Roy and Tate's son. Certain chapters really touch me, and this one did. When I sat back after it was finished, I appreciated taking the route I did. It's a favorite.

Click here to read Heart and Soul, Chapter 5.

There have to be many "senior" gay men who never really found their true love, no matter how lovable and kind they are. Life isn't always fair when it comes to romance.

Don

Don has made cameo appearances in Books Six through Eight (Laramie, Say Goodbye to Sparkleland and A Bed, A Desk and My Unfortunate Soulmate). In those instances, he was simply Emory's boyfriend/partner.

I really enjoyed writing this chapter. It gave a deeper look into who Don is. In my mind, I picture him as a truly kind gentleman, but portraying him as a person who has cracks beneath the surface and a lifetime of heartache made him much more interesting as a character. The passage with Tate was very rewarding for me as an author.

I have to believe there are straight friends out there that "experiment" with each other. I've never directly asked my straight friends if (first) they ever experienced such moments and if so, how it affected them. Do they regret doing it? Does it bother them to think about it? Was it a bonding moment? I honestly have no idea. Don and Tate definitely had one.

Heart and Soul is Emory's book, clearly, but we also see two main characters portrayed here. I've appreciated the comments from people who say I am portraying "their age" appropriately. I always want my writing to have an authenticity to it.

In the chapters ahead, I will peel more layers away from this character.

By the way, I named Don after an older reader. He has since past. He was married for his whole adult life, but he still allowed himself to be in touch with his true self, even if it was by reading my stories and those of others. I found him very kind through his emails. I miss hearing from him.

Each of my books has its own niche. Trent had his journal and Lance had his meetings. Jakob's book was told by years; Cooper's was written in months. Laramie's story had the atypical approach of two perspectives at a time, even though the other one other than Laramie changed throughout the book. Mitchell, of course, had his sessions with Logan. Corey and Aiden alternated narrating the chapters for their freshman year. Emory's book is all in relation to when he met Don.

So often, a book takes a long time for the protagonist to fall in love. That wasn't what I was after here. We knew from his previous appearances that Don was Emory's partner. Dealing with love at a mature age was the main goal of this story.

I hope you like Don.

Click here to read Heart and Soul, Chapter 3.

AIDS

That is not a title that draws someone in. I realize that.

Several readers have written to me expressing that they are of Emory's age and — as well as appreciating the representation of older gay men — can relate to some of the feelings our protagonist is experiencing. I'm sure that will be the same with this chapter.

But anyone of that age should remember the AIDS crisis. Other than maybe Stonewall, it is possibly a time that played the most significant role in gay history. In many ways, it was a wake-up call. More than that, it was a time for gay people to really be seen; unfortunately it was not the light in which we wanted to be seen.

If anyone lost a partner or close friend, I'd be open to hearing about it if you feel like you could share. My email is always at the end.

While the COVID pandemic was much more condensed, the AIDS crisis was slightly similar in that people just didn't know how to react to it in the beginning. There was so much "unknown." As facts emerged, there was still resistance to doing the right thing by those that thought they were young and invincible. Being safe eventually became a top priority. Sadly, way too many people were lost because of taking risks. I lost a good friend, even though he lived for a good ten years past the eruption of the crisis.

Something Emory says in this chapter is a deep feeling I have inside me. Young people have no idea about the seemingly overnight fear that came across the world. Just like COVID scared the hell out of all of us in the beginning, AIDS was that way too.

I apologize for making people remember the timeline of all nine books.

Longtime readers might recall a few of the passages within this chapter (Laramie and Cooper as a new couple at the coffee shop and dancing at The Black Stallion). They appeared in Chapter 15 of Laramie. It was the longest chapter in Book Six.

Click here for Chapter 15 of Laramie.

For new readers, I admit it; my work skips through a timeline somewhat like the magnificent television show This Is Us did for several years. There was no master plan to ever do this, but as recurring characters deserved to have their own stories told, that is sometimes a necessity when writing the complete picture. I've even had to make myself a spreadsheet to make sure I have all the events in proper sequence. Ha.

Email: timothylane414@gmail.com