19: I am not Timothy

 

I am not Timothy.

Longtime readers might wonder if I included myself in this chapter. No. I couldn’t be farther from Timothy. I’m not a drug user, and like Jakob, I tend to want sex to “mean something.”

Click here to read Ascension: Jakob's Ladder, 19 [Chap. 4]

But I did want to include my name. One of my friends was aghast that his name was used for one of my more dislikable characters. I assured him that I just pull names at random, trying not to duplicate them. (With five books now written, you have to pay attention to that.)

No name associated with a character means that person is a real person. At least not by that name. I do take attributes from people I know and occasionally incorporate those traits into a character. I feel that makes the character more realistic and relatable. My other half inspired a brief moment when Jakob was putting whipped cream on his Thanksgiving pie. When my partner put away the whipped cream, I watched him take it back out to squirt a dot on the very tip of his pie. I found it adorable and included it in a scene in Hi, I’m Lance.

Some authors on Nifty will tell you things in their stories are from real life. The folks in Jackson Bend are not. It is purely my imagination, but I do include qualities from people I know from time to time. Jackson Bend isn’t even a real town. I specifically chose not to select a real place because I figured someone eventually would say, “I live there, and our town is nothing like that!” Ha. Keeping it fictious is easier. I don’t even specify the state, but I have always felt it is somewhere in the middle of the country, the mid-West or the plains. An exact location isn’t necessary. I find it better for readers to use their imaginations.

For anyone who was hoping I was a stoned sex maniac… sorry to disappoint. Hopefully you’ll stay along for the ride. (wink)

For those that love Jakob, he still has some dark chapters. You know it gets better.

Being 18

 

I will not hide the fact that being 18 is far, far in my rearview mirror. Many things have changed since those days — just the sheer nature of technology — but some things will always be universal. It is a magic number that signifies you have somehow entered adulthood. You can serve in the military but can’t buy a beer. You suddenly are responsible and accountable for so many things on a legal level. And with all these great big responsibilities, you realize you feel exactly the same. You look forward to it for years and years — being a grownup — but you feel the same. You don’t feel grown up at all.

Click here to read Ascension: Jakob’s Ladder “18” [Chap. 3].

Jakob’s journey has already had its forecasted dark years in Hi, I’m Lance. While it is sometimes tough to watch someone go through hard times, thankfully we know he comes out at the other end stronger once the right person enters his life. We just have to remember he gets there.

Jakob learns to survive at this young age because he is completely forced to. I have friends at several ages. I know gay friends much older than me and much younger than me. Things have gotten better (for sure), but that doesn’t mean coming to terms with who you are is necessarily easier. It is more widely accepted today, which helps, but coming out still requires courage a straight person doesn’t have to require. Not to say everyone doesn’t have personal challengers, because we call do. Everyone. But these are our stories.

One thing I find very moving in this chapter is the departure of the Petriellos. Jakob’s youth was at the very beginnings of cell phones, and him being without one and the Petriellos starting a new life, it is just unfortunate that they become disconnected. Readers may recall that in [Chap. 31] of Hi, I’m Lance, when Jakob hears from them again after several years, he is overcome with emotion. Seeing the beginning point here in this chapter, the reader can now somewhat bring it full circle.

Click here to read Hi, I’m Lance [Chap. 31].

Stay with him for the next few chapters. Jakob needs all the friends he can.

17

 

This chapter is an important one.

Readers of Hi, I’m Lance knew about the events of Jakob’s 17th year. If someone is just starting with this story, then there is a lot to unpack in this chapter.

Click here to read Ascension: Jakob’s Ladder [Chap. 2] “17.”

Jakob’s story is not necessarily isolated. Coming out to one’s family is always an unknown. Some people feel safe enough, but I have personal friends who have had no connection with their family once they were honest.

Two things impact me with this chapter (as the author). The first is that his father refuses to even listen. Jakob is never really heard out. He is just given the ultimatum. I can’t imagine how scary that would be. Unfortunately, there are real instances just like this out in our own world.

The second thing I find harsh is the contrast between Anson’s “coming out” experience and Jakob’s. The cold rejection is horrifying enough, but to know — and to have witnessed — a better reaction was possible, that’s tragic on all levels for a teenager.

Ascension: Jakob’s Ladder begins as a story of survival (which makes it much darker than the previous three stories). But I want each story to stand on its own and have its own direction.

I implore my readers to stick with it during the darker times. As the title indicates, there is light at the end of the tunnel. “It gets better” is often a motto within the community. Jakob’s story is proof.